OK, SO WHAT IS NEXT?
For almost two years, I have been without a *job*. It worked out well since I struggled with health issues during that time. I still struggle health-wise but at least I know what's wrong with me!
During this time, I have been coming to terms with my identity or what role does life have for me. Should I continue to pursue a career or stay home? If I stay home, would I be valued or needed? If I go back to work, do I have what it takes to be successful?
So, I placed myself back into the job market applying to job after job only to be turned down time and again. I kept thinking this is the path I needed to follow. Then, a little grandgirl wanted to spend time with me. Lots of time. Frequently. I treasure my grandgirl days and look forward to adding more grandgirls (and a grandson) now that the *original* is off to kindergarten. But I digress.
It seemed as though the more job applications I submitted, the more my family needed me. Babies were being born; daughters-in-law counted on me to babysit or lend a hand with the children. So, here I was - a full-time granny! Well, not really full time but my family knows that I'm here for them whenever they need me.
Hubby loved my being home! It had been a long time since there was good-old-fashioned-home-cooked-from-scratch meals on the table; not to mention baked goods! It's strange. As much as I love taking care of hearth and home, I was very apprehensive about resuming my domestic duties wholeheartedly. I reasoned that if I was to begin working, my home would take a back seat...again. No reason to get hubby and son #4, who's still at home, used to the good life for naught.
After a steady stream of rejections as a job seeker, I started to wonder what was wrong with me? Why did no one want to hire me? I'm a good prospect, I have a stellar resume, so what's the problem? In every job I ever had, the employer got the very best of me! Wait. What am I saying? Employers always got the very best of me. My husband, my family were second best, that is, if there was any *best* left to give. Most of the time, there was nothing left.
Recently, the job opportunity of a lifetime was dropped into my lap. So I began to tell God about it. Why did I wait to talk to Him about these important decisions? He's my heavenly Father and cares about every aspect of my life. I'm so glad that my Lord is patient and forebearing with me. Still, I chose to "put out the fleece" like Gideon as recorded in Judges chapter 6 in the Bible. If it was God's will that I go back to work, then this job would be the one. The final opportunity. It never happened. I have my answer. An answer that I kind of knew all along; it was just hidden in the deep recesses of my heart. Cluttered from view by my own machinations.
So here I am, at peace, content in the role I am best at: wife, mother, JerseyGranny!
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3 comments:
Love it! ! And know that a jersey granny is the best kind of granny there is. :o)
Great stuff, Karen. Sometimes God has to hit us over the head for us to see His path for our lives. Your family is blessed to have you!
Very nicely written Karen. The whole key with life is to find peace within and you have found that through bringing peace to others in caring for their well being. We can't fight what comes natural :-)
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